Writing Prompt: 05/31/10

"Your phone rings. When you answer it, you make a startling discovery: the person on the other end is dead. What does he/she say and why are they calling you?"

Write for 15-30 minutes. My response will be posted 6/02/10.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Flash fiction: Unbounded Rage

Before I do anything else here, I want to take a moment and thank you for dropping by.

More than that, if you look to the lower right corner of this site you should see a series of links to people who are following me. You're already giving me the precious gift of your time and energy to be here reading this, but if I may plead for just a little bit more, please take a moment and investigate those followers as well. Most of them are better writers than I am by far, and each of them has something important and wonderful to share with you, whether it's a story, a tip, or something else.

Thanks for your time.

CR.

*****

Yesterday's writing prompt was: "Consider a person who has lost their memory. How do you show this to the reader? Try to do it from the eyes of the person with the missing memory."
+++++

Flashes...

...of memory...

...things I...

...can barely see...

...father... drunk (again)...

...no, father... I'm like...

...the others...

...not really different...

...you'll see... someday...

...mother... at her funeral... sleeping, looks like she's sleeping...

...bruises don't show...

...other children...

...I begged them to...

...stop...

...STOP...

...STOP!

...town... smoke... screams... crying...

...she was different...

...she made the fear go away...

...her... my ring... why couldn't I...

...control this?

(The ring!)

...where is she?

...I don't know what it means!

My name... is Davian Urthradar.


*****
Christopher Rivan

Virgins Slain, Dragons Rescued.
Reasonable rates for all budgets!

http://chrisrivan.blogspot.com/

Chris.Rivan@Yahoo.com

11 comments:

  1. Nice. Quick and to the point. But how can he know his name? I wonder...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love the way you wrote this, Christopher. Sweet flow. Early, though! Holy, moly, I haven't even got an idea yet!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very cool story. I love the style and structure of it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Effective use of style. Reads like the start of something larger.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love the depth that can be conveyed with a few delicate strokes. Flashes and hintings. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Art with words...really wonderful!

    Enjoyed the great style of it. Very well done.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Awesome stuff. Like small detail of a wall-sized mural. I feel like this could be a great beginning of something bigger, but also is almost more effective on it's own.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You do a good job of conveying the drama, and the structure works, too. People don't think in complete sentences, especially about traumatic stuff.

    Nicely done!

    CD

    ReplyDelete
  9. Nice style and structure for showing the drama and the gaps. Like pieces of a puzzle.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Experiential fiction here. Unique and creative. Good addition to Friday flash this week.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Very effective - it really gives the sense of someone struggling to remember, and seeing only fragments instead of a picture. As well as being excellent on its own, it could make an outstanding intro to a novel - it draws the reader in and makes you want to know how all the fragments fit together, and who he really is. Great work!

    ReplyDelete